I Think My Head's About To Explode! (Matt Blogs)

It seems like everyday I wake up at the same time
Go to work at the same time,
& go to school at the same time
My life is on loop & it gets old pretty quickly

It's not like repatition is a bad thing,
and I'm sure in some cases it's beneficial to getting things to run smoothly
but my repetition lasts about 16 hours a day.
& I'm getting kind of tired of it, to be honest.
I'm constantly on the move & I barely have time to stop and think.
Or take care of things. Or have a hobby!

& on those rare occasions when my world stops spinning long enough for me to relax and think about things, my mind is usually filled with stressful thoughts:
How am I going to make my life work?
What do I need to do to achieve my goals?
Basically, what it all boils down to is time. There isn't enough of it.

One of the most stressful thoughts I've got right now is moving to Dallas.
It is going to be a big step into uncharted territory that I am excited, but scared to take. What will I do about work? Will I make enough money to live the way I want to? How quickly will I find an apartment? Am I even ready to go out on my own?

Even though all those crazy thoughts are flying through my head all the time, I know that I will be graduating in four months, and my life will be much less stressful then. I also know that I have family, and friends to pull me through this super stressful time in my life. And I know that this won't last forever, but right now I'm having a hard time seeing the light at the end of this tunnel. This type of thinking usually hits me about once every month, and I go into freak out mode, and since starting this blog, I've gotten the opportunity to vomit my freak out here, to whoever wants to read it. Maybe now that I've written it all down, I can move on a bit from it. I don't know, I guess we'll have to see.

Has anyone else had a situation like this? How do you get through your stressful times?

-matt

The Great Big Known

For the first few days of Spring Break, I will be in Dallas, Tx! I'm sure everyone knows that Matt & I will be moving up there in the next six months or so (Sorry Patrick), and since I've never actually been to Dallas, spring break seems like the perfect time to road trip. I'm really excited, but extremely sad that Matt won't be joining my mom & I on our sojourn. And, although I am excited about moving to Dallas, the excitement is accompanied by feelings of nervousness.

My whole life I've been wondering what I wanted to do with it, and I still had no idea when I transferred schools last fall. I came to UTSA as an engineering major, and had done so just to appease my father and hopefully avoid another fight. I enrolled for only science and math classes and as the semester continued and I struggled to keep my head above sea of schoolwork, I was getting swallowed up by doubt. I ended up meeting with a career assessment advisor and deciding on speech-language pathology, which isn't offered at UTSA. The argument I tried to avoid ensued, but in the end a weight was lifted from my shoulders. But, as a result of finally deciding on a major, Dallas feels kind of like the beginning of the REST OF MY LIFE. Because, before I was floating along accidental-like on a breeze, and now I've actually got...a plan. That's never happened to me before, and I don't want anything to go wrong.

So now I'm going to this new city where I've got to go to school and do well and make new connections all over again, which is scary by itself cause I've never been too good at that. All I know is that I'm so, so thankful that I've got someone in my life who is willing to take this journey with me. Matthew August Farris is a dreamboat. (!!!) Expect a blog from him soon you's guys.

-be.